​BLANK SPACES #bestfriends #notmeanttobe

#afriendshipclichè

I’m looking around, but there’s nothing interesting to catch my attention. I’m just staring into a blank space. Almost like I don’t exist. Almost like I never did. A little heartbroken, you know’ just a little heartbroken. “Naah” I think to myself, at least it not a ‘boy-friend trouble. But wait, it’s something worse. Something unexpected. Something out of nothing. Yeahh, something out of nothing is the best way to explain this situation. Best-friend trouble, is what it is. I bet this is what we all hate. When a friend, “a friend” you thought was your best friend tries to use everything she knows about you, from that whole year, against you. Would a best friend really do this? Is she really a best friend? I thought best friends were meant to hide and keep each others secrets no matter what went on between them. Aren’t I right?  Well maybe I wasn’t. I spent the whole of last year trying to fake that we were still best friends and that I actually didn’t mind spending time with her. But the reality was that, I was faking everything all the way. Right you might decide that, maybe it was my fault for faking everything to keep up with her but inner me told “when trust is gone, I guess there’s nothing you can grip onto”. Trust was gone. There was no way, it could be like before, “noo wayyy”. My idiocy was, I tried, I gave her a second chance. I thought there will be nothing wrong with sharing things with her. Even though I knew she was a total snitch. She would go and tale tale every single little thing I share, to her mum. 
This time, I couldn’t be wrong. She couldn’t do the same thing once again. She wouldn’t brake my trust would she? But she did. It was time to move on. For her and me. It was the best. The truth was, we were never best friends. She will never have a part in my life. The funny thing is I don’t feel her absence, it’s like she doesn’t exist and never existed. You know what, I gained someone much better,  I appreciate her each day for being a true best friend. So in summery: “One loss, one gain”.  After all there was no damage. Apart from the anger rushing through me every time she walks past me purposely. Not that I care. For the fact that I still have to see her for another year or so.  Staring into a blank space, I try hard not to laugh at this “traumatic comedy”. Thankful for what happened. I now know that nice seeming people are not always nice. 

Sevgi.Kara

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