Attached

Attached; adjective

full of affection or fondness

“Attached” is all we are.  Our expectations. Intentions. Eager to grab. To own. Being afraid of changes. A fear of releasing. Infact, depending on another. Relying on others. We are attached to the idea of loving and being loved. Needing. Wanting. Keeping; Kept. This is what we are. We have scars we hide. Trust blurred beneath confusion. The perfect image we portray is almost an illusion. We limit ourselves to what we have. We are used to a routine and afraid of any change. Its not as easy as it seems. To camouflage your pain. To fool yourself . Even though your suffering  with the most complicated storms of yours. With despair. The concealed damage to your heart aches. Surrendered. You still continue to your way.

As he left; she remained still …

She grabbed tightly on to the collar of his shirt. Swallowing hard. She felt a misplaced shame in her gut. The tension was ignored between them. He slowly brought his hand  up, lightly gripping  on her arm. “Why?!” she screamed, her voiced echoing. “Why ? why is it that people let go in the worst part? when we most need them. Still grabbing tightly onto his collar, other hand placed against his chest. She shakes him. Pain fills her heart. Tears roll. Reflecting love and hate. Reflecting pain and fear. Lashes heavy with tears. He sees the pain through her eyes, but he cannot share the pain like any other time. He tightens his grip. Brings her hand down slowly. Steadily she lets go off his collar.

“I`m sorry” he murmurs.

“Your sorry?, sorry for what?. Tell me!. She steps back, wiping tears.  ” Sorry for making me feel like home?. “The- then making me feel like a complete stranger”. Is it that easy form you?

She was afraid because she was attached just way too much. Attached to these indelible feelings. Stubborn and challenging. The anger, forced between her fingers. She needed, what she already had. Like his sweet kiss on her cheek. The way he wrapped his arms around her waist slowly from behind. She knew, she just new there could of been more to their story.

Staring right into his eyes, she could still see it; a charming light beyond his decision, trying to hide the smallest sadness. An unconditional feeling of love which never faded.

Sometimes being too attached hurts too much. Then you feel like you shouldn’t love again or trust again because they may walk away once again. I guess it`s all to do with being with the right person. Be with the right one.

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